My ex girlfriend has a blog that she started on the day we broke up. I can't tell you where it is because you aren't old enough to visit that website.

It's pretty common practice to slag your exes, and in my opinion maybe I have reason to. But she's not a bad person, things just weren't right. Whatever.

Anyway, I've been reading it for a few months now, and as hard as it is for me to say this about someone who maybe isn't my favourite person in the world anymore, she's a pretty damn good writer, her poetry totally surprised me. You'll have to believe me since I am not going to put up a link.

Today I started a new position in my company. I will basically spend my days responding to e-mails. For the next 2 weeks I will be "training" and after that I'll be working hard to not get fired. Isn't that our prime consideration every day we go to work? We get up in the morning and rush to get to work on time, because if we are late to many times we get that dreaded "sit-down" with our boss. At work, we could sit on our butts and not do anything, but eventually we'd get fired. So we work as hard as we can to get advancement, or as mediocrely (is that a word?) as we have to to keep our job.

We can grease the wheels a bit with some well-placed ass-kissing, sexy or otherwise very nice clothing, some "networking", but in the end someone is still watching. It's like the Santa Claus thing turned into a nightmare. Maybe I've worked for too many big corporations. I should find a nice convenience store position. I'm smiling at the thought.

OK I don't have anything left to say. So I guess it looks like the end of this post.
ALL YOUR BLOG ARE BELONG TO ME
ALL YOUR BLOG ARE BELONG TO ME
ALL YOUR BLOG ARE BELONG TO ME
ALL YOUR BLOG ARE BELONG TO ME
ALL YOUR BLOG ARE BELONG TO ME
ALL YOUR BLOG ARE BELONG TO ME
ALL YOUR BLOG ARE BELONG TO ME
ALL YOUR BLOG ARE BELONG TO ME
i MEAN ME
Nobody reads this yet, and all of my old readers have bid me adieu I'm sure, though I wouldn't be surprised if Warren finds if amusing to watch me go from semi-serious commentator to wack-job.

Out of curiousity I just checked to see what kind of hits I am getting from search engines. The most popular search phrase seems to be every imaginable variation of the phrase "Ann Rohmer's breasts" (I don't remember THAT post), followed in poplularity by my own name. Well, since I still get the other Michael Wilson's (former finance minister famous for the GST) e-mail, it's no surprise that I'm getting hits on that term. Either that or else people really really love me.

But I can say pretty much anything I want right now.

I just this moment realized that there's an election going on tonight. By the way I didn't vote. Yes, didn't vote. I'm still a PCer (I still keep my Conservative party membership up in the hopes that Stephen Harper will die a painfuil death), and honestly none of the parties or local candidates available right now really interest me in the slightest, so why should I skew my voting intentions by putting my name beside a candidate I don't want to win?
Just turned on the TV, currently 111 Conservative, 96 Lib, 25 NDP. I predict a coalition.....Oh wait I'm always wrong.

OK I was going to post about guys and how they sometimes tend to not be clear about their intentions towards girls, and oops I think I got sidetracked. Maybe tomorrow.

Time to change channels back to the Family Guy. Oh good, it's the episode where Peter meets Death's mom.
You add your sugar, you add your milk, then stir 12 times.

Then you pick up your mug, and start to walk to your computer with it, when suddenly "CH!"

A few drops spill out onto the floor, and you know it's coming, you can feel it welling up inside your nose. That tickly sensation that starts lightly, then grows rapidly into...oh damn you need to find any surface to put your mug down on right now...can you make it to your desk before...?

You start to walk quickly but not so fast that drops of coffee spill onto the floor. But as it wells up and you know it's going to explode into a full-fledged sneeze you start to throw caution to the wind and start to r..ACHOO!!!...coffee spills onto the floor and you are paralyzed between sneezes.. ACHOO!!...more drops.. the desk is 10 steps away, you start to move...ACHOO!!..now you are spreading drops of coffee across the floor, and when you set the mug down on the desk it leaves a coffee ring.

You look at the floor, all that coffee, and say "fuck it" and sit down at your computer. Every day for the next week you look at the coffee hardened on the floor but you learn to tolerate it until company comes and then...you just hope they don't notice.
Is this not still the most boring website on the planet? I know that none of then folks who used to read this blog come here anymore, because I didn't write to it for over a year, and God knows why anyone would want to come look at it now that I've basically turned it into whatever it's going to become.

And this is the most boring post of all.
OK I just looked at my last post and realized I forgot to finish my main point. I've decided to keep calling it "semi-lucid political thoughts", because it kindof has a sexy funky feel to it, and it might fool people into thinking I am much deeper than I really am.

And if you don't agree then YOU CAN GO TO my comments section. OR HELL!!!.
OK, blog name. I was wondering if I should change the name of my blog to something from Leonard Cohen, or just call it "Crap Crap Crap" (which it should have been called all along).

But It has already gone through a few name changes before it finally got here, it was originally "PC Leadership Thoughts" or something equally lame, then for about 5 minutes it was called something else which I can't for the life of me remember.

By the way, y'all are so damn lucky that I've only been writing sporadically lately. I've been through some interesting times, and as Plato or Shakespeare or someone once said "may you never" ... wait that's not right..."May you live through boring times"... no I think it was "may you never live through interesting times"... I don't know, it was something like that. Anyway, I had a point here, but it has fallen out of my head.

So anyway, I know there is an election going on, but my knowledge of this one has come from newspaper headlines. I haven't even opened a newspaper in God knows how long, and I used to read 2 or 3 a day. In the back of my mind, I still don't want Harper to win, but I don't want any of the others to win either. I sure miss Joe Clark.

I'm really more interested in sex nowadays than politics. 6 billion people can't be wrong.
Whooooooooooooo are you?

Who who


Who who?
IN THE MIDDLE OF A FEDERAL ELECTION CAMPAIGN, WHAT COULD BE BETTER TIME FOR A POLITICAL BLOG WRITER TO SCRATCH HIS NEEDLE ACROSS HIS RECORD AND SHOUT:

All right, Toronto, it is time for this town to get down! You've got Mikey - Doctor Mikey Fever, and I am burnin' up in here - Whoah! We all in critical condition, babies, but you can tell me where it hurts, cuz I got the healing prescription here from the big medicine cabinet. Now I am talking about your 50 000 watts intensive care unit, babies! So just sit right back now, relax! Open your mind real wide and say, "Give it to me straight, Doctor, I can take it!" Oh, I almost forgot, fellow babies... BOOGER!!

If the message wasn't clear, this is no longer a political blog. There will be swearing. There will be sex.


I have a puffy on my chinny-chin-chin

This is me. I don't know how this picture actually got here, I was fucking around with something and voila! Hell, I don't even know how the work "voila" got hyperlinked in the last line. Blogger sure has changed since I was a kid, with my little political blog.
I've had several people bugging me about where my blog is, why I haven't said a peep about this election.

PEEP

There, maybe too disingenuous, but it's more than I care to write about this one.

Sorry guys, if we have an election again in the future that is about more than rearranging seats, I'll be back.

I haven't even been watching the news for the last few months. If I didn't have to pass several news stands every day, I'd be able to forget it was even happening. The last I saw was yesterday's Globe headline about how Harper fashioned his lead. OK, so I assume the Conservatives are in the lead. Since I don't know when this election will be held, and haven't paid attention to polling trends, all I can do is shrug my shoulders and say "neat".

Those who've known my blog in years past know I'm a former Tory (Progressive Conservative), who is unable to support any party led by Harper. Harper is barely a step away from Gilles Duceppe, leader of the Bloc, in his disdain for this country. And since the Liberals have quite obviously broken our trust with their Quebec sponsorship shenanigans, well, I might just put my X beside the Green candidate's name this time.

OK so that was waaay more than I'd planned to write. Good luck to all of the candidates. Except Harper and Martin. Crappy lousy poopy luck to them.
A lot of Canadians are opposed to Gay marriage. A lot of Canadians dislike the Liberals.

A lot of Canadians are supporting both the gay marriage bill and are voting Liberal however, because the only option appears to be the views of an angry man.


Stephen Harper is possibly the only political leader in the country's history whose political fortunes would improve if he were to disappear for a while.
Here's a challenge to the MPs who want to call an election right now, less than a year after the previous one. Why not save the country some money. You should resign your seats, we can have by-elections in your ridings, and be done with it.

Personally I would like to see the Gomery Inquiry publish it's completed report, likely due in the fall, before parties begin using it as a political tool to fight an election with. Calling an election during the hearings would most likely derail the inquiry and force us to wait even longer before we hear what happened. If Stephen Harper's Tories are confident that the government acted scandalously, then there is nothing to lose by waiting 6 months.

Of course the recent Tory surge in the polls may have subsided by then, But surely Harper would agree that the completion of the inquiry is more important than appearing to set his party's focus based solely on polling data.

If an election will be called based on the inquiry, it would be better to wait until the inquiry releases it's report.
Should parliamentarians be subject to the same laws as the rest of us? Or are they somehow above the law, like BC Premier Gordon Campbell when he basically got off "scott-free" on his DUI charge in Hawaii a few years ago?

This week, Peter Mackay was given 2 back to back week-long driving suspensions for two separate speeding infractions last fall. However the judge agreed to postpone the suspensions until late May, when Mackay will be out of the country anyway, in Australia.

Should Mackay be trivializing his punishment like this, or should he be setting an example as the deputy leader of the party that wants so desperately to govern this country?


***
From the Globe and Mail, April 12:


New Glasgow, N.S — Peter MacKay will join the ranks of pedestrians for two weeks next month.
The Central Nova MP and deputy Conservative leader will serve back-to-back seven-day driving suspensions, beginning May 21, after being caught speeding twice last year.
Mr. MacKay was to go to trial in New Glasgow on Monday on one of the charges, but a lawyer pleaded guilty on his behalf.
An RCMP officer clocked Mr. MacKay going 134 km/h in a 100 km/h zone on Highway 104 in Broadway, N.S., on Nov. 11.
Mr. MacKay told the officer he was late for a function.
The same officer pulled Mr. MacKay over on Dec. 23 on Highway 6 in Caribou River, N.S., for going 109 km/h in an 80 km/h zone.
Mr. MacKay had already pleaded guilty to the second charge and was set to take his week-long driving suspension the week of April 24.
His lawyer, Craig Clarke, requested Monday that the original suspension date be changed because of Mr. MacKay's schedule. The Crown consented and the judge agreed to apply both suspensions in May.
According to Mr. Clarke, Mr. MacKay will be in Australia at that time.
The MP was fined a total of $430 for both offences.
Scott Brison and Peter Mackay were long considered the heirs apparent of the Progressive Conservative Party. Blah blah blah, then one day....
The two men found themselves on opposite sides of the aisle in the House of Commons, neither a PC anymore. And neither has done a very good job in their attempts to excuse their new party's policies and mistakes (as seen each week on Craig Oliver's Question Period).

Brison was not even a member of the Liberal Party when the alleged sponsorship mafia was at work in the Liberal party. So why is he being put in a position to defend the party from those acts?

Anyway I have to get ready for work.
I'm waiting for the girl to get ready, so I probably have 3 or 4 hours to write here. What has happened vsince the election. Hmm...
Stephen Harper's Conservatives have basically joined the Liberal caucus, voting alongside the government on virtually everything in the past 9 months. The most interesting moment in the Conservative Party's last 9 months was when Peter Mackay got pissy about some new proposed Delegate Selection rules. Then Stephen Harper reportedly had a tantrum and kicked a chair. Oh the Drama.
The NDP have disappeared from the landscape, although I heard Jack Layton had his feet amputated and can't stand up in the House.
The Bloc have been in the news occasionally, though I can't remember why. I think they still support separatism?
And the Liberals, oh those wacky Liberals, what have they been up to? If you read the National Post, you would conclude that the Liberals have done absolutely nothing during this minority mandate. Paul Martin is boring as hell, in my opinion, but sometimes that can be a good thing. Sometimes. Paul Martin is either for or against the US Missile defence thingy, I am too confused to know what his stand is.

Essentially it seems like the Tories and the Liberals are working together right now to govern and the NDP and Bloc are watching from the sidelines. More later.
I'm getting ready to go to work. It's Saturday. And I have a gorgeous woman sitting here wishing I could stay home today. Life is either good, or else the world is coming to an end.
I've been away a while. Apparently I'm getting married sometime this year, though I don't know when just yet.


For those who have missed me, I say hi. For those who just found this by accident while searching on google for Mike Wilson the undersea explorer, I say hi.


Hi.
Just found out about the death of Christopher Reeves. I wouldn't usually post about an entertainer's death, but for some reason it feels like something good has gone.

Crap.