Beautiful Easter yesterday. The extended family got together at Grama's house in Fenelon Falls for an incredible "Ham and Moosemeat" dinner, and sitting around on the breezeway shooting the breeze. I can't remember the weather being so nice and warm at Easter, which is odd because I think we had an ice storm last weekend. Grama's garden was starting to come to life, and in fact there were several flowers that bloomed over the course of the warm day. I couldn't tell you what the names of the flowers are, but there were lots of little yellow ones, and a big red one. The women-folk made a real fuss over the red one, "oh, isn't that lovely..."
While the women were talking about gardens and such, we men-folk busied ourselved talking about the war and puttering around in the garage.
The family dogs spent their day getting reaquainted, with no injuries this time. One of those dogs, my aunt's "Riker", was absent this year, having died at about 14 or 15 years of age.
I hope everyone had a great Easter this year.
Unfortunately the beautiful weather isn't going to last, with Tuesday's high forecast at 6 degrees, and possible snowflakes. That will probably take the blooms off the garden at Grama's house at the same time.
While the women were talking about gardens and such, we men-folk busied ourselved talking about the war and puttering around in the garage.
The family dogs spent their day getting reaquainted, with no injuries this time. One of those dogs, my aunt's "Riker", was absent this year, having died at about 14 or 15 years of age.
I hope everyone had a great Easter this year.
Unfortunately the beautiful weather isn't going to last, with Tuesday's high forecast at 6 degrees, and possible snowflakes. That will probably take the blooms off the garden at Grama's house at the same time.
Nazis on the internet
Last night during the Leafs game, we got talking about what Don Cherry's reaction would be on Coach's Corner if the league ever considered allowing robot players (we were also dancing to the organ music playing at the Air Canada Centre, thanks to our Labatts' 50).
So today, I got looking for Don Cherry quotes about European players, from the days not so long ago when he was completely opposed to having Europlayers in the league.
And I stumbled across this article/message board called Don Cherry hurts white Europeans. It's basically a forum for some guys who probably never get any sex, to spout off about how much they hate women and other races. Here's a quote from the first message: "And if he had the guts he would attack blacks, chinks or indians playing in the N.H.L. instead of the easy targeted white European players.".
I randomly scrolled down and found a message that contained this gem: "I feel a much greater sense of solidarity with my race than with my nation.".
Their mainpage is pretty nasty as well. The page title that appears at the top of my Browser window says "White Pride World Wide". Ironically, reading their website makes me feel less proud of being a member of the same race as these gentlemen.
I'm not going to provide any analysis of the site.
Last night during the Leafs game, we got talking about what Don Cherry's reaction would be on Coach's Corner if the league ever considered allowing robot players (we were also dancing to the organ music playing at the Air Canada Centre, thanks to our Labatts' 50).
So today, I got looking for Don Cherry quotes about European players, from the days not so long ago when he was completely opposed to having Europlayers in the league.
And I stumbled across this article/message board called Don Cherry hurts white Europeans. It's basically a forum for some guys who probably never get any sex, to spout off about how much they hate women and other races. Here's a quote from the first message: "And if he had the guts he would attack blacks, chinks or indians playing in the N.H.L. instead of the easy targeted white European players.".
I randomly scrolled down and found a message that contained this gem: "I feel a much greater sense of solidarity with my race than with my nation.".
Their mainpage is pretty nasty as well. The page title that appears at the top of my Browser window says "White Pride World Wide". Ironically, reading their website makes me feel less proud of being a member of the same race as these gentlemen.
I'm not going to provide any analysis of the site.
I found another site related to the leadership race. It's called "totallytruebluetraditionaltory". I haven't had a good look at it yet, but it appears to have a lot of links to other sites, some of which I'll have to investigate when I have time. Here it is. Oh, put your pen down. I'll put a permanent link up for it. I'll shorten it up a bit and call it "True Blue Tory".
I almost forgot
I had promised to post my crappy DSM speech. It wasn't much, and in fact I edited out most of it, once I found out that I wasn't going to get a lot of time to speak, really just a few seconds. Here was what I ended up saying:
(insert opening remarks)
Since 1993, the PC party has been struggling to define itself. On the one hand, there are those who'd like to move closer to the Canadian Alliance, and perhaps "Unite the Right". On the other hand, there are those who think we are already too far to the right, and these people want to move us in another direction. And a lot of great policy ideas have been brought forth through this process.
But policy isn't our problem. If elections were based on policy alone, Canada would currently have a majority Progressive Conservative majority government. What we need right now is a man. The right man. A leader for all Canadians.
We need a leader who can get us back in the game. We need a leader who can offer our party a vision for a successful future.
We need a leader who will meet the moral challenges that threaten this country, and who can bridge the gaps between Alberta and New Brunswick, English and French, Orchard and Mackay.
If we choose someone with vision, someone with guts, if we choose someone who will inspire us, and not just us, not just Tories, but all Canadians. Then we'll be able to face whatever comes our way.
From now on, let's stop telling people who's the most qualified. Instead of telling Canadians who's got the better ideas, let's make it obvious.
(insert closing remarks)
I had promised to post my crappy DSM speech. It wasn't much, and in fact I edited out most of it, once I found out that I wasn't going to get a lot of time to speak, really just a few seconds. Here was what I ended up saying:
(insert opening remarks)
Since 1993, the PC party has been struggling to define itself. On the one hand, there are those who'd like to move closer to the Canadian Alliance, and perhaps "Unite the Right". On the other hand, there are those who think we are already too far to the right, and these people want to move us in another direction. And a lot of great policy ideas have been brought forth through this process.
But policy isn't our problem. If elections were based on policy alone, Canada would currently have a majority Progressive Conservative majority government. What we need right now is a man. The right man. A leader for all Canadians.
We need a leader who can get us back in the game. We need a leader who can offer our party a vision for a successful future.
We need a leader who will meet the moral challenges that threaten this country, and who can bridge the gaps between Alberta and New Brunswick, English and French, Orchard and Mackay.
If we choose someone with vision, someone with guts, if we choose someone who will inspire us, and not just us, not just Tories, but all Canadians. Then we'll be able to face whatever comes our way.
From now on, let's stop telling people who's the most qualified. Instead of telling Canadians who's got the better ideas, let's make it obvious.
(insert closing remarks)
What can I say that won't be entirely boring?
It was a great night all around. The Leafs won, the Sens won, and Jean Charest won. Ten years after he began, the turtle finally crossed the finish line, even if it's not the finish line he was originally shooting for. Has anybody seen the Hare in the past few years?
Decided to look her up on the web (by the way, I'm talking about Kim Campbell). Seems she's doing all sorts of really boring things. Here's a little piece on her recent doings.
Back on topic though. The best line of the night came from Charest, when he said "Quebec's leadership will make Canada a better place". Wow, it's been so long since I've heard a Quebec Premier talk about Quebec and Canada in the same sentence without sneering. Very nice.
Now, Jean, are you going to sign the constitution?
It was a great night all around. The Leafs won, the Sens won, and Jean Charest won. Ten years after he began, the turtle finally crossed the finish line, even if it's not the finish line he was originally shooting for. Has anybody seen the Hare in the past few years?
Decided to look her up on the web (by the way, I'm talking about Kim Campbell). Seems she's doing all sorts of really boring things. Here's a little piece on her recent doings.
Back on topic though. The best line of the night came from Charest, when he said "Quebec's leadership will make Canada a better place". Wow, it's been so long since I've heard a Quebec Premier talk about Quebec and Canada in the same sentence without sneering. Very nice.
Now, Jean, are you going to sign the constitution?
"They get what they vote for, and that is mismanagement under Charest" Albertan e-mail, read during CBC's Quebec election coverage, attacking Charest for being a Liberal.
Mismanagement under Charest? The man has neither governed well or poorly yet. This is obviously just proof that Alliance types (this man is obviously an Alliance member, based on the spelling errors in his message) don't criticize based on performance, but based on party lines.
This writer has already begun to attack the non-existent Charest government, for things that are as-yet undone.
Mismanagement under Charest? The man has neither governed well or poorly yet. This is obviously just proof that Alliance types (this man is obviously an Alliance member, based on the spelling errors in his message) don't criticize based on performance, but based on party lines.
This writer has already begun to attack the non-existent Charest government, for things that are as-yet undone.
Is it to early to start roasting Charest?
The date: I don't remember. Sometime in the summer of 1993.
The place: Skydome.
The event: An Argos game (I forget who they were playing)
The scene: Prime Minister Kimmy Campbell, deputy PM Jean Charest, and a bunch of us party hacks had travelled to Toronto for the game, Skybox courtesy of one of our corporate admirers.
The story: Drinks, drinks, chatting, laughing. The gentleman in the picture in the post below this one had had a few too many I guess.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, that we were all wearing our campaign t-shirts, with the words "Prime Minister KIM" on the front.
Back to my story. I don't know where the black magic marker came from, although I suspect that someone who I will refer to as KR was involved. But suddenly Mr. Charest took the marker to the t-shirt he was wearing, scribbling out the word "KIM", and started writing in below the words "Jean Charest". Ha ha. Those of us who supported his leadership bid earlier that year were tickled pink. I don't know what the rest thought, or what the PM thought.
What happened next could have caused serious problems if any of the thousands of cameras in the stadium happened to have been trained on our skybox, but the humour value have made it worth whatever fallout it might have caused. Mr. Charest walked up to the Skybox window wearing his Prime Minister Jean Charest t-shirt, and raised his arms...
OK enough. You get the general picture, and I'm going to leave the man with some of his dignity.
Good luck tonight Jean, I'm rooting for you. As, I would imagine, are the majority of the politically aware people in the country.
The date: I don't remember. Sometime in the summer of 1993.
The place: Skydome.
The event: An Argos game (I forget who they were playing)
The scene: Prime Minister Kimmy Campbell, deputy PM Jean Charest, and a bunch of us party hacks had travelled to Toronto for the game, Skybox courtesy of one of our corporate admirers.
The story: Drinks, drinks, chatting, laughing. The gentleman in the picture in the post below this one had had a few too many I guess.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, that we were all wearing our campaign t-shirts, with the words "Prime Minister KIM" on the front.
Back to my story. I don't know where the black magic marker came from, although I suspect that someone who I will refer to as KR was involved. But suddenly Mr. Charest took the marker to the t-shirt he was wearing, scribbling out the word "KIM", and started writing in below the words "Jean Charest". Ha ha. Those of us who supported his leadership bid earlier that year were tickled pink. I don't know what the rest thought, or what the PM thought.
What happened next could have caused serious problems if any of the thousands of cameras in the stadium happened to have been trained on our skybox, but the humour value have made it worth whatever fallout it might have caused. Mr. Charest walked up to the Skybox window wearing his Prime Minister Jean Charest t-shirt, and raised his arms...
OK enough. You get the general picture, and I'm going to leave the man with some of his dignity.
Good luck tonight Jean, I'm rooting for you. As, I would imagine, are the majority of the politically aware people in the country.
Good old JC, the turtlemeister is set to become Quebec's next premier tomorrow!!! I am so happy, not because I give a damn about the Quebec Liberals, although it's going to be nice to see the tail end of this PQ government, but because Jean is a good man, a friend I've known and respected for a long time.
Just keep him away from the coffee while in public.
Just keep him away from the coffee while in public.
I thought the Smashing Pumpkins had split up.
Yet there they are on SNL tonight.
Probably the third best band of the 90s. The best, if you exclude bands whose singers shot themselves, with rumours that their girlfriend may have pulled the trigger, and bands whose singers died of a heroin overdose, with rumours of leukemia.
My favourite songs of the 1990s (since I'm on the subject):
1) Smells like teen spirit (Nirvana)
2) No Rain (Blind Melon)
3) Summertime Rolls (Jane's Addiction)
4) 1979 (Smashing Pumpkins)
Other favourite musicians, last quarter century:
Bryan Ferry, the Clash, the Cure..
Actually, as much fun as this is to write, I'm sure it's pretty boring to read. So I'll quit, and apologize.
Yet there they are on SNL tonight.
Probably the third best band of the 90s. The best, if you exclude bands whose singers shot themselves, with rumours that their girlfriend may have pulled the trigger, and bands whose singers died of a heroin overdose, with rumours of leukemia.
My favourite songs of the 1990s (since I'm on the subject):
1) Smells like teen spirit (Nirvana)
2) No Rain (Blind Melon)
3) Summertime Rolls (Jane's Addiction)
4) 1979 (Smashing Pumpkins)
Other favourite musicians, last quarter century:
Bryan Ferry, the Clash, the Cure..
Actually, as much fun as this is to write, I'm sure it's pretty boring to read. So I'll quit, and apologize.
Scuttlebutt Corner
I spoke yesterday to someone who attended Cardinal Carter's funeral. It was attended by all of the living PMs, all sorts and varieties of Canadian politicians, lots of business bigwigs, and clergy from around the world.
I'm not going to name names, but apparently one of those PMs who attended, one with a French surname, was felt by some to have made a disrespectful entrance, all jaunty and not sombre enough. But apparently he saved himself by going around afterwards and shaking hands with everyone.
Personally I don't give a damn, I don't understand why anyone would even consider it to be worth discussing. The Catholic Church confuses me I guess. I don't even know what the heck a Cardinal is. The church I grew up in had ministers, and that was it. But the Catholics have monks, priests, nuns, bishops, popes, cardinals, choirboys (oops), and maybe more. Oh yeah, friars.
Anyway, I've also heard that with Conrad Black being there, as well as various politicos, there were several attempts at fundraising. And they think it's disrespectful to walk in funny?
I wouldn’t have wanted to have been sitting between Jean and King Conrad.
I spoke yesterday to someone who attended Cardinal Carter's funeral. It was attended by all of the living PMs, all sorts and varieties of Canadian politicians, lots of business bigwigs, and clergy from around the world.
I'm not going to name names, but apparently one of those PMs who attended, one with a French surname, was felt by some to have made a disrespectful entrance, all jaunty and not sombre enough. But apparently he saved himself by going around afterwards and shaking hands with everyone.
Personally I don't give a damn, I don't understand why anyone would even consider it to be worth discussing. The Catholic Church confuses me I guess. I don't even know what the heck a Cardinal is. The church I grew up in had ministers, and that was it. But the Catholics have monks, priests, nuns, bishops, popes, cardinals, choirboys (oops), and maybe more. Oh yeah, friars.
Anyway, I've also heard that with Conrad Black being there, as well as various politicos, there were several attempts at fundraising. And they think it's disrespectful to walk in funny?
I wouldn’t have wanted to have been sitting between Jean and King Conrad.
I deserve an Oscar.
Tonight I walked into a room full of people, none of whom I had ever met. It was our riding's delegate selection meeting, and it was very heavily organized by the Mackay and the Orchard people. Every person in that room knew before they came, for whom they would be voting. Every one of the delegateships was accounted for, twice over, by each of those campaigns.
There were 10 delegateships up for grabs, and I needed a fair number of votes to win one of them. It would be a miracle if I got more than one vote, that being my own. I was the only Bachand supporter in the room, and I had done no organizing at all(as I said, I know nobody in this riding association).
My strategy: talk-up a few girls, find the weak people in the room, those who I could influence. I was handed a strategic tool by an Orchard organizer who mistook me for an Orchard supporter, and basically told me their voting strategy. A massive flaw in that voting strategy opened up an opportunity for me to talk to the Mackay people and get a few votes from them.
The Orchard people made yet another huge error, by contesting the identification produced by a Mackay supporter. If that one person had been allowed to vote, I would not have had the 10% of the total vote that I needed to win my delegateship, and the Orchard folks would have had another delegate (strange that allowing a Mackay supporter to vote would produce an Orchard delegate).
At some point, around 4am in the morning, one of those Orchard organizers is going to wake up and realize his mistake. Is it actually possible to "kick yourself"?
Anyway, through my acting skills, and some strategic slip-ups by the Orchard campaign, I got exactly the number of votes I needed. Also I met a gorgeous girl, whose name I forget. I didn't think to ask for her phone number, but I likely would have never called her anyway.
Tonight I walked into a room full of people, none of whom I had ever met. It was our riding's delegate selection meeting, and it was very heavily organized by the Mackay and the Orchard people. Every person in that room knew before they came, for whom they would be voting. Every one of the delegateships was accounted for, twice over, by each of those campaigns.
There were 10 delegateships up for grabs, and I needed a fair number of votes to win one of them. It would be a miracle if I got more than one vote, that being my own. I was the only Bachand supporter in the room, and I had done no organizing at all(as I said, I know nobody in this riding association).
My strategy: talk-up a few girls, find the weak people in the room, those who I could influence. I was handed a strategic tool by an Orchard organizer who mistook me for an Orchard supporter, and basically told me their voting strategy. A massive flaw in that voting strategy opened up an opportunity for me to talk to the Mackay people and get a few votes from them.
The Orchard people made yet another huge error, by contesting the identification produced by a Mackay supporter. If that one person had been allowed to vote, I would not have had the 10% of the total vote that I needed to win my delegateship, and the Orchard folks would have had another delegate (strange that allowing a Mackay supporter to vote would produce an Orchard delegate).
At some point, around 4am in the morning, one of those Orchard organizers is going to wake up and realize his mistake. Is it actually possible to "kick yourself"?
Anyway, through my acting skills, and some strategic slip-ups by the Orchard campaign, I got exactly the number of votes I needed. Also I met a gorgeous girl, whose name I forget. I didn't think to ask for her phone number, but I likely would have never called her anyway.
I have to give a speech tonight, it's a silly little speech at our Brampton Centre delegate selection meeting. But I think I'm putting together something fairly reasonable. As always I'm borrowing a line from one of my idols, and deceased member of my fraternity, William Jennings Bryan:
"Instead of meeting the issue boldly and submitting a clear and positive plan for dealing with the question of the aging Sea-Kings, the Liberals adopted a platform--the larger part of which was devoted to boasting and self-congratulation." (obviously I've changed a word or 2).
But most of it is mine. A lot of kitsch: "We need a leader who...blah blah blah", some stuff with tempo, etc. Actually instead of using normal tempo, I had considered trying to experiment with Eminem-style tempos, but I quickly found myself adding bad words to my lines, so I had to abandon that.
And there's even some really corny quasi-patriotic crap. Guess I've been watching CNN too much lately. Anyway, I still have to finish it up, and maybe tomorrow night I'll put it up here for your boredom.
"Instead of meeting the issue boldly and submitting a clear and positive plan for dealing with the question of the aging Sea-Kings, the Liberals adopted a platform--the larger part of which was devoted to boasting and self-congratulation." (obviously I've changed a word or 2).
But most of it is mine. A lot of kitsch: "We need a leader who...blah blah blah", some stuff with tempo, etc. Actually instead of using normal tempo, I had considered trying to experiment with Eminem-style tempos, but I quickly found myself adding bad words to my lines, so I had to abandon that.
And there's even some really corny quasi-patriotic crap. Guess I've been watching CNN too much lately. Anyway, I still have to finish it up, and maybe tomorrow night I'll put it up here for your boredom.
The US government has a new website, http://www.ready.gov. It's another attempt at scare
mongering in the style of the old "duck and cover" advice after WWII.
The fun thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few
interpretations.
If you have set yourself on fire, do not run
If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.
If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder
If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a
doctor.
Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!
The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless
hand.
Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the
fuck away.
Hurricanes, animal corpses and the biohazard symbol have a lot in common. Think about it.
Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands
together manically.
If a door is closed, karate chop it open.
If your building collapses, give yourself a blowjob while waiting to be rescued.
Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12
seconds, however, you may become sterile
After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic
dimensions: watch your head.
If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one
wants to see that shit.
If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or
run like hell.
If your lungs and stomach start talking, stand with your arms akimbo until they stop.
If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting.
If you lose a contact lens during a chemical attack, do not stop to look for it.
Do not drive a stations wagon if a power pole is protruding from the hood.
A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation.
mongering in the style of the old "duck and cover" advice after WWII.
The fun thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few
interpretations.
If you have set yourself on fire, do not run
If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.
If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder
If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a
doctor.
Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!
The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless
hand.
Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the
fuck away.
Hurricanes, animal corpses and the biohazard symbol have a lot in common. Think about it.
Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands
together manically.
If a door is closed, karate chop it open.
If your building collapses, give yourself a blowjob while waiting to be rescued.
Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12
seconds, however, you may become sterile
After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic
dimensions: watch your head.
If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one
wants to see that shit.
If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or
run like hell.
If your lungs and stomach start talking, stand with your arms akimbo until they stop.
If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting.
If you lose a contact lens during a chemical attack, do not stop to look for it.
Do not drive a stations wagon if a power pole is protruding from the hood.
A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation.
From different sources around the net, Ikram Saeed has put together a couple of examples of war poetry . Writing poetry about this war is something I doubt I'd be able to do, because I keep cycling between anger and sadness when I think about what's going on.
Me, I have nothing to say about the war anymore. I'm a coward.
Me, I have nothing to say about the war anymore. I'm a coward.
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