My Complaint about Stephen Harper

(intended only in fun)

Auto-Generated by Pakin Complaint Generator

I'll get right to the point. Mr. Stephen Harper's apostles merely present their allegations as though they were true, a technique known as a "conclusory" or "Kierkegaardian" leap. And that's why I feel compelled to say something about gutless, incompetent fogeys. If he continues to exploit the public's short attention span in order to silence critical debate and squelch creative brainstorming, crime will escalate as schools deteriorate, corruption increases, and quality of life plummets. He finds reality too difficult to swallow. Or maybe it just gets lost between the sports and entertainment pages. In either case, we should give you some background information about Mr. Harper. (Goodness knows, our elected officials aren't going to.) Contrast, for example, his plans for the future with those of lawless, tendentious spoiled brats, and observe that there is no contrast. I, by (genuine) contrast, take the view that he dreams of a time when he'll be free to cause pain and injury to those who don't deserve it. That's the way he's planned it, and that's the way it'll happen -- not may happen, but will happen -- if we don't interfere, if we don't turn random, senseless violence into meaningful action.

Is this anything other than haughty solecism? The answer is obvious if you happen to notice that another point worth thinking about is that this has been documented repeatedly. Or, to express that sentiment without all of the emotionally charged lingo, Mr. Harper's eccentricity is surpassed only by his vanity. And his vanity is surpassed only by his empty theorizing. (Remember his theory that he is always being misrepresented and/or persecuted?)

As that last sentence suggests, it would please Mr. Harper greatly to discredit and intimidate the opposition, so to speak. I've already said this a thousand times and with a thousand different phrasings, but he indubitably believes that 75 million years ago, a galactic tyrant named Xenu solved the overpopulation problem of his 76-planet federation by transporting the excess people to Earth, chaining them to volcanoes, and dropping H-bombs on them. What kind of Humpty-Dumpty world is he living in? I could give you the answer now, but it would be more productive for me first to inform you that some heartless, witless exhibitionists actually maintain that the kids on the playground are happy to surrender to the school bully. This is the kind of muddled thinking that he is encouraging with his apologues. Even worse, all those who raise their voice against this brainwashing campaign are denounced as voluble used-car salesmen. What does this mean for our future? For one thing, it means that Mr. Harper wants to create a mass psychology of fear about an imminent terrorist threat. Such intolerance is felt by all people, from every background. What is the milieu in which the worst classes of ostentatious practitioners of cannibalism I've ever seen subject us to the untoward yapping of stingy monomaniacs? It is the underworld of conspiracy theory, a subculture in which feral, unbalanced pamphleteers share fantasies of fighting heroically against a huge conspiracy that will tap into the national resurgence of overt colonialism sometime soon. My goal for this letter was to comment on Mr. Stephen Harper's invectives. Know that I have done my best while trying always to plant markers that define the limits of what is oppressive and what is not. Let an honest history judge.