Tips for you guys, on how to kill time while waiting for her to shop

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they arn't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewears to go off at five minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3 in housewares".....and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. When a clerk asks if he/she can help you. begin to cry and ask: "Why cant you people just leave me alone?"
7. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
8. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he or she knows where the anti-depressants are?
9. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
10. In the Auto Department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
11. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say "PICK ME!! PICK ME!!!!!"
12. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again."
13. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly.... "Hey! we're out of toilet paper in here!"

(this came to me in my e-mail, and may have originated in the Toronto Star)