Where are the Purple Dinosaurs?
This has been a pretty dull election campaign so far. No major gaffes, all three leaders are sticking to the script, more or less.
So what's the hold-up here?
The whole country is watching to see the campaign screwups, and our leaders are letting us down in a big way. So far the only real fuckups have been Harper's claim that he will make this the least taxed country on the planet, Martin's suggestion that this country has a population equal to that of the United States, and Jack Layton's statement that Paul Martin has killed homeless people.
Canadian elections are supposed to be a bit like an installment of Survivor. Remember the first Survivor series, with the guy prancing naked around the island and looking like Grizzly Adams? Not exactly the man's brightest moment, but it was probably the most interesting part of the installment. In the last election we had Stockwell Day, out making headlines almost every day with his antics. Does anyone remember any of Jean Chretien's speeches from the 2000 campaign? No because they were all very very boring, no flash, no dancing or singing. But everyone remembers Stock Day's comments on the direction of Niagara Falls, his Sea-Doo suit, and his half-cocked attack on a judge. Day knew how to be interesting, how to keep people watching, everyone wanted to see what this guy would say or do next as his campaign fell completely off the rails. The only other entertainment we got in that election was from Warren Kinsella, with his Purple Dinosaur thing. And Warren wasn't even running.
Maybe what this election needs is Warren kinsella. Say what you want about the man politically, he knows how to get ratings. Maybe that's what is wrong with the current crop of campaign teams. They think that an election campaign is a time to discuss the issues (who said that?). No guys, see we all know that you're all full of shit, sorry Stephen but you're not going to make this the least taxed country on earth. The Dalton McGuinty thing is just too fresh in our minds, we are all a bit jaded when it comes to electoral pledges. So set aside the stump speeches, put away the Blackberries, we want to see you dance and sing for us. Or at the very least give us a campaign train-wreck to rival the 2000 CA campaign.
What do we pay these guys for, if they can't even entertain us?